A New Fwend
by foxxxduo
Summary: Warning: I am very bad at titles, and do not let this name fool you. It is rated T for a reason. What happens when Altair goes into the real world with two crazy girls: Amber and Kat. Will he want to stay longer afterwards, or will he want to leave unable to handle the girls' craziness?
1. Chapter 1

Kat and Amber sat on a couch eating fruit snacks.

"Kaaaaaat. I'm boooored!" said Amber as she threw a fruit snack at her.

"Then stop licking your foot."

"But I'm not licking my foot. I'm trying to get my fruit she snack off of it!"

"Why are we doing this again?"

"Because we are playing truth or dare, and you dared me to."

"Well stop it! I didn't think you'd actually do it."

"Well now you have to do what I say, and I say you have to take that assassin's creed video game and throw it at the wall."

"But I love Alty!"

"But I love him more, so do it."

"Fine, but then we're going to bed."

"No we aren't!"

"Yes we are."

"Fine."

Kat picked up her favorite game and threw it at the wall before looking over at Amber.

"I just thought about Altair wearing a bra and underwear while sleep changing. Is that weird?"

"One there's no such thing as sleep changing, and no one has done it, at least I hope no one's done it. Second yes that is very weird. Now go to bed sister."

Amber sighed before heading up to her room. Her sister sighed too before heading to her room too. They both then went to bed. As Amber slept a hooded figure appeared at her bedside.

Amber woke up feeling as if she were being watched and spotted Altair standing by her bedside.

"Oh my gosh! What are you doing in my room?! Did you do something while I was sleeping?!"

Altair immediately released his hidden blade and jumped on top of the girl pressing his hidden blade up against her throat.

"You should be thankful that you are alive at most."

"So you did do something!"

"Shut up before I end your life here and now."

"No you shut your face grandpa. Your sick and old twisted ways aren't going to get me this time!"

"What are you talking about women?" asked Altair as he started to put pressure on the blade.

"I'm talking about you and your sick and twisted ways."

Altair gritted his teeth before putting even more pressure causing Amber to start to choke. The door flung open, and Kat walked in with her eyes closed. She was sleepwalking again.

"Amber! Where's the bathroom?" she mumbled as she walked over to the bed and started pulling Altair.

"Why is this bed so heavy? I can't lift it up! Amber! I need your help lifting up this bed, so I can go to the bathroom. I'm really tired."

Altair looked at Kat before then looking at Amber.

"Shhhh. She's does this every night. She's been having potty nightmares."

"Hurry Amber! We need to defeat the toilet king!"

Altair grabbed Kat and pinned her to the floor.

"Altair! No! Don't-"

"How do you know my name?!" Altair said as he grabbed Amber and threw her to the floor as well.

"I'm a magical kitty kat from the magical place of Narnia."

"Yes! You are the hero we need to defeat the toilet king!" yelled Kat as she walked out the room still asleep.

Altair looked at Amber.

"Die templar spy!" he said as he slowly put the hidden blade into her throat. As soon as he said the word die, she started crying. Altair looked at the girl using his eagle vision to see if she was innocent or not. For some reason she was the color purple. Altair released her.

"Why are you purple? Are you innocent or an enemy?"

"Wow. I'm purple," she mumbled as she went to bed.

"I'm still talking to you!" he said pointing at her. She grabbed his hand and dragged him onto the bed with her where she then fell asleep.

*Soon to be added to the dictionary: sleep changing! {I don't know why I thought of it. I just felt like thinking about it. As you have probably learned by now from my previous stories, I'm a bit insane. Bunnies! Luckily no one reads these anyways. If you did read this, put bunnies in your next review. I'm only going to read the bunnies. I only want bunnies! I've finally done it! I lost my mind! I'm trying to look for it, but it's really good at hide and seek.}* ***********************************************************************************************************


	2. The Spider Part 1

Kat awoke to something next to her. She looked down and noticed someone's arms wrapped around her waist. Slowly she tried to squirm out of her captors arms and stopped when she heard a voice.

"Good morning bella. Did you sleep well?"

She rolled over coming face to face to a smirking Ezio before she screamed and ran out of the room where she bumped into a screaming Amber.

"Why are you screaming?"

"Altair was sleeping with me! Why were you?"

"Ezio was sleeping with me! Wanna trade?"

"Never!"

Altair came out of Amber's room looking very confused.

"I was forced to sleep with her."

"Same here, but I didn't object," said Ezio. "Although I wish we could have done more than just sleep," he said winking at Kat.

Kat shivered before hiding behind Amber. Amber looked at Altair before awkwardly turning around.

"I'm going to be going to the bathroom now so… I'll be right back," Amber said running off to the bathroom. Ezio smirked as Kat slowly made her way over to Altair when suddenly they heard a scream. Altair went to the source of the scream where he found Amber standing there frozen.

"What are you screaming about?"

"Sp-sp-sp-spider!" she said as she pointed to a dead spider in the middle of the floor.

"It's dead. It won't hurt you. Just throw it away."

"No! It's scary you pick it up! You take care of it."

Altair smirked to himself before blocking her escape.

"Pick it up now."

"No!' Amber whined as she tried to duck underneath him.

"I'll lock you in there."

"I don't care. I don't want to touch it!"

"I'll make a deal with you. You tell me how we got here, and I'll get rid of it for you."

"But I don't know."

"Have fun," he said as he pushed her in and closed the door behind her holding it closed while she screamed banging on the door trying to escape.

"What is going on down here," yelled Ezio as he came down disappointed that he couldn't continue his flirting. Kat looked from Altair to the door, heard Amber crying, and then started to laugh.

"There's a dead spider in there isn't there?"

Altair looked at her before nodding.

"I did that to her too once, but that was merely because she tried to prank. In the end I got her back."

"Let me out of here! It's so scary! What if it starts crawling towards me?!"

Altair smirked.

"No."

Ezio looked at the door.

"Just let her out. It's not funny."

"She needs to get over her arachnophobia anyways," said Kat. "Also she's obsessed with rocks."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Nothing. I just felt like teasing her and embarrassing her. She is my sister after all."

"Can I come out now? I threw the spider away."

"I didn't hear a flushing sound."

"But I threw it away."

"There's no garbage in there, so where did you throw it?"

"Well. Umm… maybe I just put it in the toilet and didn't flush it. Let me out now. Please."

Altair looked at Kat who shook her head mouthing the word no before running off to find a rope to tie the doorknob to another doorknob, so she couldn't get out.

"Alright. We will let you out. That is if you can figure out how to get out."  
"But that's easy. All I have to do is turn the knob and p-. There's a rope tied to it isn't there?"

"Yep. Have fun."

"Okay, okay. I'm doing it. I'm doing it. It's so scary. It's got really long legs, and it's hairy, and it's got big eyes, and uh."

A few minutes later they heard the toilet flush, and Altair opened the door when Amber ran out. They all looked into the bathroom to find the dead spider still laying on the ground.

"After her!" shouted Kat.

*****************************************************************************8888

Yayayayayay! I got bunnies, but I thought none of you read... Well since your reading, let's try and find my mind for your reviews. If you read this, name places where it might be, and don't say microwave. I already checked there. It's also not in the bathroom. My dead spider already checked... Hmmmmmmmmmm. I want more bunnies! Please post more bunnies and ideas where my mind may be hiding. Also the reason the chap. took so long: I was having fun with the Spanish dictionary. It doesn't like me. I made it translate too many things.


	3. spidy part 2

Amber ran down the hallway as fast as she could and ran outside where she climbed up a tree so they couldn't get to her. "I no shes here somewhere!" shouted kat as she checked behind the bush.

Altair looked up and immediately spotted Amber.

"Shes in the tree" said Altair as he watched her. "I'm not coming down!"

Kat looked up to the tree.

"Ok then I'm giving all your brownies to Altair."

"What NOOO! you can't give my brownies to alty he'll get really fat and then he won't able to get out the door!"

"Well then come back down so I can lock you in the bathroom."

"NOOO!"

Ezio looked at Kat then and Amber.

"uh bella, I think it would be-"

"Shut up Ezio! no one wants to hear your perverted Ideas!"

"But-"

"NOOOOOO!" yeled Kat. Then she noticed that Altair was smirking. Wait Altair never smirked. Kat looked up and bursted out laughing. Their on Ambers head was a huge spider. It was Kats pet Mr. Whiskers. She had brought him home one day and Amber freaked out and had thrown him outside. "Whats so funny?" asked Amber.

"You have a leaf with a caterpillar on your head, you look ridiculous" Lied Altair.

"OMG I love caterpillars!" Amber squealed excitedly and reached up and picked up Mr. Whiskers to see that she was holding Mr. Whiskers. Amber screamed and through him before she fell off the tree and was caught by Ezio.

"Well isn't this nice?" Said Ezio and he flashed Amber a flirtatious smirk.

"NOOOO! put me down you sicko!" screamed Amber.

"But, but You're so beautiful I can't put such a beautiful rose down like you"

"Yes you can and I'm not beautiful… I'm a kitty cat!"

"Amber you're not the cat I am." said Kat as she looked down to see mr. whiskers crawling towards her. She looked at Altair and Altair smirked as she handed him Mr. Whiskers. Ezio held amber as she squirmed in his arms.

Altair walked up to her.

"Alty tell ezio to let me go!"

"ok… I will but you must first pet this spider!"

Amber's eyes widened as Altair held out mr. Whiskers

"NOOOOOOOOO!" she screeched suddenly punching ezio in the face and running in the house before locking them out.

He he heh hehehehehe bunnies *drools* I like bunnies I got bunnies. I'm so happy about the bunnie reviews….. hey I think I saw a caterpillar with cheese dancing on a rainbow…. o.o I also like kitty faces and…. unicorn horseies give me bunnies! I want bunnies…. BUNNIES!... ok now that I got that out of my…. I give up thinking i'm done starting right now i'm going to…. ugh I'm to lazy to even post this story…. I also might have the next chapter up when I feel like it….. I have not given up on any of my stories. If you are still reading this I am amazed. I hope I didn't get to rusty on my story writing for this story... sorry if theirs bunch of mistakes my co-author was to lazy to write with me :)


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